luidilovins:

insomniac-arrest:

I highly encourage youths who are trying to figure themselves out to NOT base their identity on static or performance based traits. Traits like “I’m smart” or “I’m funny” can be crushing to have when you either fail a test or tell a joke no one laughs at. It makes it so it’s not just a bad joke or bad test– it’s a failure of self.

I suggest instead that you try defining yourself by the things you do and enjoy. Such as “I like knitting,” and “I like reading.” These are traits you have within your control and it’s less devastating if you get “wrong.” Making a lumpy hat doesn’t mean you like knitting any less!

Define yourself by your ongoing actions, not your temporary reflection. 

I know this post isn’t about gender specifically but once I had this small kid ask me if i was a boy or a girl and the parent’s face went white with shock and I kinda just said “well I like dinosaurs a lot.” and now it’s my go-to.