maramahan:

taste-of-ink:

vampireapologist:

Body language is completely unique to every single individual person and the science of body language is almost if not completely unreliable and if I have to listen to one more person claim they can “read” me by my body language I’m gonna flip.

MULTIPLE people in my life have told me they can “tell” I’m “self conscious” because I look at my feet when I walk and they say it like they want me to open up about some social insecurities, like I have some wall they’re about to break down and we’ll have a moment

And I tell them the same truth every single time:

As a kid we had two MASSIVE Holly trees in the backyard and my dad and my uncle, both well meaning but perhaps poor planners, said “yes a great place for a swing set is directly beneath those.”

So they built it there and the issue is that entire section of yard was a Minefield of dried Holly leaves with one final mission before they became dirt which was to Stab themselves into a child’s foot

And being that my siblings and I had some feral rage aversion to wearing shoes, we took to running to the swings on our tiptoes, staring at the ground for the leaves

And to this DAY I still look at the ground when I walk out of habit formed by a decade of that

And NO body language guide and NO BBC Sherlock wannabe would EVER source that

“I can tell you’re lying because you’re playing with your hair.”

I’m playing with my hair because I have ADHD and can’t stay still.

“I can tell you’re lying because you’re looking up and to the side.”

I’m looking up and to the side because I have ADHD and can’t hear you if I’m looking directly at you.

“I can tell…”

shut up shut up shut up shut up

“I can read your body language”

Broke: ‘I can tell you’re insecure because you look at your feet when you walk and That’s How Shy People Do’

Woke: ‘I can tell you’re feeling insecure right now because I’ve known you for years and I love you dearly so I’ve learned the meaning behind the subtle angle of your shoulders and the faint tilt of your chin and I’ve seen your happy-smile often enough to know that this ain’t it’